Bathroom talkers

Today I'd like to talk to you about something important. Something that a lot of people feel very strongly about, and something that can be pretty divisive. That's right, bathroom talking.

I don't just mean the kind of chit chat where you end up at the sink with a co-worker and explain pleasantries. I'm talking about explaining your life philosophies to the guy in the stall next to you. Or talking about who you're going to vote for while you're using the urinal.

Some people have no qualms talking while they conduct their business, while others view the bathroom as a private place of solitude. Problems can arise when two people of opposing views are occupying the same bathroom. How do you explain that you don't want to talk while you're sitting on the toilet? Would that come off as rude? If you're a talker, is there a way to feel out how the other person feels about it before breaking into a full out conversation?

Where do you stand on the subject?

April Fool's!

Don't worry, The Dan Watch isn't going anywhere, we just love that song ...

Last night was the first game of Baseball season - an exciting time for all, I'm sure. Given that most people will find their time this week consumed with drinking in veritable smorgasbord baseball games, we'll be updating on a need-to-know basis.

A new beginning

After a lot of thinking and a bit of soul searching, I've decided to come clean about The Dan Watch. I think everyone out there (well, mostly Dan) deserves to know the truth about my identity. My reasons for creating The Dan Watch were twofold:

1) To poke some fun at Dan at the tremendously slow pace of his blogging

At this point, I think it's fairly safe to say that Dan's blog is dead. TBEHBWF! was quite the rollercoaster ride of emotions - the excitement when it first came out, the frustration of waiting for a new post, and the sadness upon realizing there would be no more new posts.

2) To see how much work/effort it would take to maintain a blog

I've been rather curious about starting my own blog for a while. What held me back was the fear that I'd end up like Dan - I had a few things I wanted to blog about, but wasn't sure whether I'd be able to find the time/inspiration to update the blog on a regular basis. I think my experience with The Dan Watch has given me the confidence to believe that I could write my own blog.



This, coupled with the unfortunate demise of TBEHBWF!, has convinced me to start my own blog. Today will be the last post on The Dan Watch, as I shift from posting in anonymity to posting about my own experiences and thoughts. Those who are curious will be able to follow along at my new blog, Blog This!

I hope everyone will join me at Blog This! and that everyone enjoyed The Dan Watch as much as I did.

Where in the World is Biscuit Sandiego?

While we continue to search for everyone's favorite wordsmith, we'd like to share with you a few of the leads we've been following since his last post on TBEHBWF. Should you have any information, please don't hesitate to post!

February 19: Biscuit is thought to have been seen exchanging numbers with several of Tiger Woods' former flames at his public apology, proclaiming multiple times that he needs to make plans with each of them (thanks to Mike Hunt, reporter for the North Florida Sun-Times).

February 28: Buster Cherry, coach of the Russian women's curling team, told Vancouver officials that several team members including head screamer Ivana Tinkle were accosted after their final Olympics game at the team hotel by "a gentleman in a colorful poncho with a Gandolf beard and sombrero claiming to be 'The Tit Fiddler'." The culprit vanished before hotel security could locate him.

March 10: Sarasota Police Officer Sgt. Dick E. Ride told local reporters that a man matching the description of Biscuit was escorted from a preseason Baltimore Orioles game in Sarasota after approaching Orioles catcher Matt Wieters asking him to sign a body part he called his "Matt Wieters."

March 25: M.T. Pockets, an American delegate at the U.S./Russia arms meeting this week, believes Biscuit was the individual responsible for briefly interrupting negotiations between nations after jumping up on the center table, doing a "wrestling-like gesture" towards the other delegates, and demanding "someone sign the treaty." Sources do not know whether he was referring to the treaty being discussed by the two nations or other diplomatic matters not yet publicly disclosed.

We will keep you posted on further developments.

Too good to be true?!

It's Friday, we're feeling lazy, and this pretty much says it all anyway:





(apologies for the small image, the regular size got cut off - clicking on it will show the full size)

Yes he can!

Today we have something exciting for everyone here at The Dan Watch! That's right, our first guest post! From a man who needs no introduction ...

"Sometimes in life you need a spark to get things done. The man known as Biscuit has always used me, his ‘Peanutty Buddy’, as the inspiration for all he does. Because of this, I am pleading on behalf of all fans of The Dan Watch for a new update to Dan’s blog. The fact that The Dan Watch has consistently outdone The Blog Everyone Has Been Waiting For! is a humiliation. This is even more humiliating than Tim’s claim of being an adult despite his clear love of warthogs and other 13 year old video game nerds. This is why I am here on The Dan Watch, to throw down the gauntlet to Biscuit to regain his manhood and take back his rightful throne as ‘King of all Blogs’. He can’t let this lame blog that Tim created usurp the splendor of TBEHBWF!. Based on the sheer volume of comments alone, clearly TBEHBWF! is far more interesting and captivating than anything that goes on at TDW (my blog post excluded). Dan’s complacency has lasted long enough. It is my hope that hearing a voice of reason finally come out of TDW will inspire Biscuit to get back up on that pogo stick. Because trust me, I know what this world wants, and I never question my own judgment. If I can manage a short shout out from the city that never sleeps (you don’t know how long it took my Mom to light proof my room here), Dan should be able to post something about anything. So Dan, the ball is in your court, answer go and wager for it."


We couldn't have said it better had we tried.

I know it was you ... and I'm going to kill you!

We've heard a lot of interesting suppositions about who, exactly, is in charge of The Dan Watch.


Biscuit himself, famed author of The Blog Everyone Has Been Waiting For! and, apparently, aspiring new detective, has decided that The Dan Watch is run by none other than the infamous Lil' Poopie. At this point in time, The Dan Watch can neither confirm nor deny these rumors.

We are reminded, though, of the Elmo Escapades. Dan's sleuthing at the time was nothing short of extraordinary, culminating in the classic one-liner, "I know it was you, and I'm going to kill you!" This enraged accusation was directed toward Mort of the Jungle, who Dan believed was the mastermind behind the abduction and subsequent corruption of his beloved Elmo. As time passed, however, it soon became apparent that Mort was innocent - he wasn't the mastermind behind this dastardly deed. In fact, he wasn't even part of the group that pulled off the mad caper! Many were left bewildered and confused, wondering where Biscuit had gone wrong in his investigation of the matter.

Is this another case of an accusation gone awry? Or has Biscuit finally nailed his man? Is Lil' Poopie actually the main contributor* for The Dan Watch? Or is it someone else entirely? Compelling questions indeed.

*We'd like to take this opportunity to once again remind everyone that The Dan Watch does accept guest posts if anyone would like to submit something.