Where in the World is Biscuit Sandiego?

While we continue to search for everyone's favorite wordsmith, we'd like to share with you a few of the leads we've been following since his last post on TBEHBWF. Should you have any information, please don't hesitate to post!

February 19: Biscuit is thought to have been seen exchanging numbers with several of Tiger Woods' former flames at his public apology, proclaiming multiple times that he needs to make plans with each of them (thanks to Mike Hunt, reporter for the North Florida Sun-Times).

February 28: Buster Cherry, coach of the Russian women's curling team, told Vancouver officials that several team members including head screamer Ivana Tinkle were accosted after their final Olympics game at the team hotel by "a gentleman in a colorful poncho with a Gandolf beard and sombrero claiming to be 'The Tit Fiddler'." The culprit vanished before hotel security could locate him.

March 10: Sarasota Police Officer Sgt. Dick E. Ride told local reporters that a man matching the description of Biscuit was escorted from a preseason Baltimore Orioles game in Sarasota after approaching Orioles catcher Matt Wieters asking him to sign a body part he called his "Matt Wieters."

March 25: M.T. Pockets, an American delegate at the U.S./Russia arms meeting this week, believes Biscuit was the individual responsible for briefly interrupting negotiations between nations after jumping up on the center table, doing a "wrestling-like gesture" towards the other delegates, and demanding "someone sign the treaty." Sources do not know whether he was referring to the treaty being discussed by the two nations or other diplomatic matters not yet publicly disclosed.

We will keep you posted on further developments.

Too good to be true?!

It's Friday, we're feeling lazy, and this pretty much says it all anyway:





(apologies for the small image, the regular size got cut off - clicking on it will show the full size)

Yes he can!

Today we have something exciting for everyone here at The Dan Watch! That's right, our first guest post! From a man who needs no introduction ...

"Sometimes in life you need a spark to get things done. The man known as Biscuit has always used me, his ‘Peanutty Buddy’, as the inspiration for all he does. Because of this, I am pleading on behalf of all fans of The Dan Watch for a new update to Dan’s blog. The fact that The Dan Watch has consistently outdone The Blog Everyone Has Been Waiting For! is a humiliation. This is even more humiliating than Tim’s claim of being an adult despite his clear love of warthogs and other 13 year old video game nerds. This is why I am here on The Dan Watch, to throw down the gauntlet to Biscuit to regain his manhood and take back his rightful throne as ‘King of all Blogs’. He can’t let this lame blog that Tim created usurp the splendor of TBEHBWF!. Based on the sheer volume of comments alone, clearly TBEHBWF! is far more interesting and captivating than anything that goes on at TDW (my blog post excluded). Dan’s complacency has lasted long enough. It is my hope that hearing a voice of reason finally come out of TDW will inspire Biscuit to get back up on that pogo stick. Because trust me, I know what this world wants, and I never question my own judgment. If I can manage a short shout out from the city that never sleeps (you don’t know how long it took my Mom to light proof my room here), Dan should be able to post something about anything. So Dan, the ball is in your court, answer go and wager for it."


We couldn't have said it better had we tried.

I know it was you ... and I'm going to kill you!

We've heard a lot of interesting suppositions about who, exactly, is in charge of The Dan Watch.


Biscuit himself, famed author of The Blog Everyone Has Been Waiting For! and, apparently, aspiring new detective, has decided that The Dan Watch is run by none other than the infamous Lil' Poopie. At this point in time, The Dan Watch can neither confirm nor deny these rumors.

We are reminded, though, of the Elmo Escapades. Dan's sleuthing at the time was nothing short of extraordinary, culminating in the classic one-liner, "I know it was you, and I'm going to kill you!" This enraged accusation was directed toward Mort of the Jungle, who Dan believed was the mastermind behind the abduction and subsequent corruption of his beloved Elmo. As time passed, however, it soon became apparent that Mort was innocent - he wasn't the mastermind behind this dastardly deed. In fact, he wasn't even part of the group that pulled off the mad caper! Many were left bewildered and confused, wondering where Biscuit had gone wrong in his investigation of the matter.

Is this another case of an accusation gone awry? Or has Biscuit finally nailed his man? Is Lil' Poopie actually the main contributor* for The Dan Watch? Or is it someone else entirely? Compelling questions indeed.

*We'd like to take this opportunity to once again remind everyone that The Dan Watch does accept guest posts if anyone would like to submit something.

Day 32 ... the 1 month mark broken!

In many ways today should be a sad day. This is the first time in TBEHBWF!'s existence that its readers have been forced to go more than a month without a new post. It appears that things are starting to become dire, that perhaps this really is the end of Biscuit's blog. How will we ever face a new day with the knowledge that there won't be any new updates on TBEHBWF!?

However, all is not lost! After a conversation with the famed author himself this past weekend, we have reason to believe that the hiatus is nearly over. In fact, rumor has it that Biscuit actually has several unpublished posts already written up and just waiting to be revealed to the masses! One can only begin to imagine what subjects are going to be discussed, but we here at The Dan Watch are incredibly excited for what should be a busy week.

Also, on a somewhat sour note, we heard several baseless accusations over the weekend from the uninformed that The Dan Watch was going under and would no longer be providing the important updates that everyone craves. This is not the case! We here at The Dan Watch are dedicated to our work - it is our passion and love for The Blog Everyone Has Been Waiting For! that keeps us going strong even during such painful times as these.

On that note, we'll wrap this up and look forward to tomorrow and the possibility of a new post!

Day 29 ...

Happy Friday to everyone. We'll keep this short and sweet today since I'm sure everyone is busy checking and re-checking their brackets.

Helpful hint of the day:

Talk about recent sports news! Rangers coach fails a drug test for cocaine?! Brian Roberts' balky back threatens to keep him out for the beginning of the year?! An NFL meeting to discuss the fairness of the overtime rules for the playoffs?! The horrid officiating that cost Robert Morris(15) their upset over Villanova(2)?! The lambasting that the Fighting Lil' Poopies are going to suffer at the hands of the Blue Hens tonight?!

We'll see you on Monday, enjoy the Madness this weekend.

Day 28 ... third time's the charm!

March Madness is upon us, yet many of us would rather see a new post on TBEHBWF! rather than see our brackets win our pools! Ok, that's a lie, I think we'd all rather win, but a new post would be a close second.

With that in mind, here is today's helpful hint:


Discussing March Madness (bet you didn't see that coming, did ya?!)! Was the seeding atrocious or fair? Did VT deserve to make it in, or did they make their own bed? How does he decide who to pick in his brackets?